From Jewschool, a very funny joke(?).

As an El-Al plane landed at Ben Gurion airport in Israel, the voice of the Captain came on:

"Please remain seated with your seat belts fastened until this plane is at a complete standstill and the seat belt signs have been turned off. We also wish to remind you that using cell phones on board of this aircraft is strictly prohibited."

"To those who are seated, we wish you a Merry Christmas, and hope that you enjoy your stay ... and to those of you standing in the aisles and talking on their cell phones, we wish you a Happy Chanukah, and welcome back home."