I have a new goal for my 5 year old daughter. I want her to study to be a psychiatrist and move to L.A. so she can be there in time for Nicolas Cage's child when he finally has the right to legally change his name to something, um, human.

Oscar-winning actor Nicolas Cage is a new father.

His wife, Alice Kim Cage, gave birth Monday to a boy, Kal-el Coppola Cage, in New York City, said Cage's Los Angeles-based publicist, Annett Wolf. No other details were available.

Kal-El?!? Superman's name? This happened months ago. How the hell did I miss this?!?

Cage and his wife look pretty old in this newly released photo of the baby. I'm not sure if it's authentic.