I'm no big fan of Rosie O'Donnell, but even I have to feel sorry for her after ths scathing (for the New York Times) review of her performance in Fiddler on the Roof.

Tevye Takes a New Wife, and This One Is TV Famous

Here are instructions for transforming yourself into a Jewish matriarch in provincial Russia in 1905, inspired by Rosie O'Donnell's performance in "Fiddler on the Roof" at the Minskoff Theater. Feel free to try this at home.

1. Plant yourself on the floor as if you were an oak.

2. Puff out your chest.

3. Place the palm of your left hand on the back of your left hip.

And, voilà!, you have instant Golde, the wife of Tevye, the philosopher-milkman in the musical adaptation of Sholom Aleichem's stories of shtetl life in the twilight of imperial Russia. Just strike that commanding maternal pose and all other essential elements of character will soon arrive naturally. It might help if you prayed a little, too.

That would seem to be Ms. O'Donnell's approach to a role previously played by Randy Graff and Andrea Martin in David Leveaux's elegant but empty revival of this much-loved show by Joseph Stein, Jerry Bock and Sheldon Harnick. Alas, a pose and a prayer prove to be not quite enough to allow Ms. O'Donnell - the comedian, television personality, theatrical producer, sometime actress and confessional blogger - to make us believe that she is someone other than who she so famously is.

Her accent trots the globe, through countries real and imagined. It is variously Irish, Yiddish, Long Island-ish and, for big dramatic moments, crisp and round in the style of introduction-to-theater students. Her relationship with the notes and keys of a song is similarly fluid.

Ouch.